MEDIA NEWS:

NEW YORK: It has been revealed that American media mogul Rupert Murdoch has spent the past 48 hours in intensive care in a New York City private hospital after collapsing at his luxurious upper west side apartment.

Although now partly recovered (main picture) the former co-chair of News Crap International who stepped down last year to spend his time as co-chair of News Crap International was rushed unconscious to the exclusive Farr-Wright Clinic just a few blocks away on Thursday morning New York time.

On his arrival doctors immediately began trying to revive the 137-year-old media magnate who was initially suspected of having suffered a heart attack or viagra overdose.

Finally a half-dazed Murdoch was temporarily placed in an induced coma after doctors heard him shouting extreme right-wing slogans.

They reversed the medication after his son Lachlan advised that his father’s seemingly wild rantings were actually instructions to News Crap editors around the globe.

It was not until this morning that the cause of Murdoch’s distress became apparent, a spokesperson for News Crap International said.

“It seems that just before 8am Thursday, New York time, or close to midnight Thursday in Sydney, Mr Murdoch was as usual online reading a copy of Friday’s edition of his beloved national turdbloid The Australian,” the spokesperson said.

“He loves to sit down at breakfast and read The Oz so that he can send notes to the editorial staff telling them what they got Right and what they got right.

“Apparently his eye fell upon a column by one of his favourite Righters, Greg Sheridan, that started on page one and canvassed the risks to the prime minister posed by the Israel-Gaza ceasefire. (below)

“When Mr Murdoch scanned the headline he mistakenly thought that the ‘PM’ in question was Benjamin Netanyahu and that Sheridan was being critical of him.

“That’s when he started to shake, foam at the mouth, and void his already very loose bowels, before collapsing in a faint.

“Unfortunately he didn’t get to page three where the Sheridan column continued and explained that, of course, the PM under the gun from the ceasefire was Anthony Albanese. (below)

“Doctors at the Farr-Wright Clinic say Mr Murdoch is doing well and cheered up when told that Sheridan wasn’t having a go at the blood-soaked genocidal maniac Bibi but was following the News line to blame Albanese for all anti-Semitism anywhere in the world.

“He was also very pleased to see that even though a formal instruction hasn’t yet gone out to all News editors and staff, Greg Sheridan knew enough to sneak Peter Dutton’s election slogan into his column,” the spokesperson said. (below)

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