NON-JOURNALISM AWARDS:

In-house judges of three of The Bug’s most unsought-after journalism awards have begged possible contenders for January 2025 trophy glory not to give up despite widespread rumours that the winning entries have already been lodged!

“If you feel you have a real contender, pop in your entry because there’s still half the month left and Newscorpse owns most of our media,” one of our senior judges explained. “So anything can still happen!”

The plea for entrants to nominate follows rumours circulating in the nation’s mainstream mediocre that early entries in the three categories – arselicker of the month, beatup of the month and clickbait of the month – were so good and so expected to win that entering the comps now would be pure folly; a complete waste of time.

The three entries regarded by some in the craft as shoo-ins for January 2025 glory are:

Media Glass House Arselicker! Piers Ackerman’s attack on “this whinging mistake of an arrogant prime minister” Anthony Albanese on behalf of Rupert and Lachlan Murdoch;

Media Glass House Beat-up: A Sky LNPNews host declaring that some Americans believe Australia should become part of the US; and

Media Glass House Click-Bait: The Courier-Mail’s online plug for a story supposedly about the loss of masculinity worldwide.

“Sure those three look unbeatable at the moment but, sure as heckfire, we are talking about the Australian mainstream mediocre so there’s bound to be plenty of potential award winners still to come,” another of our judges (pictured below) explained.

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