Bundaberg, Queensland: The funeral of Aussie country/comedy music legend Chad Morgan (above left) has been delayed while his coffin lid is modified to accommodate his teeth.

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London, England: British Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer is expected to make the short trip out to Buckingham Palace at 2pm today (UK time) to tender his resignation to King Charles 3 after the world’s richest man Elon Musk (above, far, far right) said he had to.

But the king will now not invite Reform UK’s Nigel Farage to form government as Musk had earlier told him to do. “I’ve changed my mind on that,” the man who will also become the world’s most powerful person in less than two weeks explained.

“Nigel’s not anywhere near as far right-wing as I thought he was,” Musk added as he prepared a media statement announcing his decision regarding the imminent US takeover of Canada.

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Canberra, Australia: Constitutional experts believe the Albanese government is powerless in trying to overturn the decision by the Crisafulli LNP government in Queensland to rename the Bruce Highway (above, centre) the LNP Way.

Premier David Crisafulli announced the decision yesterday while resuming his boast that only his government had been capable in just a few short months in power of negotiating an 80-20 split with the Commonwealth for a projected $7.2 billion upgrade of the highway between Brisbane and Cairns.

“That’s the LNP way – that’s the way, that’s for sure – and the renaming of the state’s main highway will be a constant reminder of how my government will always put the interests of my fellow Queenslanders first,” the Premier said. “And it will also be a constant reminder as to how hard the Abbott, Turnbull and Morrison governments strove over almost a decade to get this done themselves.

“Besides, almost all electorates along the LNP Way’s route are LNP anyway so the name change is more than fitting,” he gloated.

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Nuuk, Greenland: The government here has ordered all crew back on board the independent country’s naval ship in readiness for a possible attack from the United States as soon as Donald Trump resumes the presidency on January 20.

Trump has repeated his threat, given the okay by Elon Musk, not to rule out possible military action to make Greenland with its rich mineral reserves the 51st state of the US.

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