… that waved away a request to be reasonable!

The column that has fun with the smaller mistakes and missteps of Australia’s mainstream mediocre; that pays homage to those sweet little fishes that individually don’t amount to a full meal but collectively can cause a tummy upset over the overall state of the once great and noble craft of journalism in this country.

Nature can indeed be cruel and Nine News reporter Inga Neilsen reminded us of that the other night.

Covering a fatal shark attack in South Australia, she told us that a local surfer had previously warned online that a large and aggressive white shark had been spotted nearby and then came up with this gem: “Despite the concerns, the Granite waves were still heaving….”

Nature can be a cruel beast at times. Not heeding very wise advice!

Okay! Okay! Don’t email in! We know what the lass was trying to say about surfers still out on the water but it’s still very funny.

We hope she has a long and successful career in the wonderful craft of journalism and there will be a time very soon when a warning bell will ring in her head as soon as she writes her notes or mentally rehearses what she is about to say on air and something as silly as this is immediately erased.

***

Here’s one our Mediocre Bytes compilers liked, courtesy of the Seven commentators at the Sydney Cricket Ground for the fifth Australia/India Test.

They’re not sure who it was – he spoke far too slowly and could be clearly understood to be Ricky Ponting – but he said he was talking to his audience from the SCG’s home ground!

As far as we (now) know, the SCG is the only cricket ground around those parts that’s run by Venues NSW and we reckon SCG home ground has a ring of misuse to it much the same as ATM machine and PIN number!

Editor’s note: An earlier version of this post gave ownership of the SCG to the Sydney Cricket Ground Trust which no longer exists. Thanks for the pickup, retired and renowned Queensland sports writer Barry Dick!

***

Mediocre Bytes kicked off the New Year recently by mentioning three little BUGbears that have annoyed our compilers for yonks: the over, under and misuse of the words alleged and allegedly, the lack of knowledge about how and when collisions happen, and the seemingly compulsory use of dangling participles.

A fourth one we perhaps should have mentioned are the funny little literals that appear in strap lines at the bottom of news bulletins.

They happen far too often to be created by someone who can even spell journalism let alone ever having been one!

Here’s a recent one….

Yes! We know it’s no biggie but they happen a lot and always bring a smile. It almost makes watching Australian mainstream mediocre’s news bulletins bearable as we undertake research for this column.

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