The inaugural winner of The Bug’s brand-new Click Bait of the Year award is the effort (at top and below) from a wesbite named Happy in Shape (please don’t go to happyinshape.com; it will only encourage them!)

Can you see why this click-baitery was our 2024 winner, even though it appeared fairly early in 2024 in a website largely unknown to Australians?

And we suspect you BUGgers out there might be wondering why hasn’t a local mainstream mediocre news source won this inaugural award, given the click-baitery just about every outlet is relying on more and more because declining revenues make them reluctant to employ real journalists?

Why indeed hasn’t the winner been one of those endless pointers to a story about some celebrity who has departed us suddenly, only to find out they’ve travelled overseas unexpectedly?

Before we explain, let’s spare a thought for our judges who were forced to read this poorly written 425-paragraph piece of nonsense in order to consider it for award glory. The 425 para figure is only a guestimate, by the way; our judges fell asleep a number of times while reading the rubbish for any sign as to where the story was actually based.

One of our judges could only get through this mindless malarkey by mentally substituting the bear with Skippy the kangaroo and amusing himself by making Skippy’s “tch tch tch” noises as he led his humans to a lost child or poachers!

Basically, it’s the use of the word Queensland that got this click-bait monstrosity over the line.

Yes, we know. Clearly it wasn’t Queensland as not even our deadly drop bears are anywhere near the size of the bear shown in the Happy in Shape novella. But it at least made our judges wonder how many other states – and countries without real bears – were mentioned as the originator for this unfascinating story about a big bear that beckoned a lady sitting at a bus stop to follow her into the woods and the adventures that followed there!

See the mention of the woods? Not bush. Another giveaway. The woods! So not Queensland then!

And the all-caps headline. Very across-the-Pacific somewhere. Not Queensland!

You may have also noticed we’ve largely ignored the storyline as this poor woman picks up the bear’s insistence that she misses her bus and follows her into the dark and spooky and mysterious and potentially dangerous woods!

Here’s the opening spiel: Samantha had never been so up close to a bear before, and the experience was nothing short of surreal. At first, trepidation gripped her heart, but it swiftly gave way to an overwhelming sense of intrigue. The majestic creature before her captivated her, fascinating rather than frightening.

Trust us. It just gets worse and worse after that. It’s unbearable.

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