Today I can reveal exclusively for The Bug’s reader that ABC TV’s weekly political discussion program Insiders will not be returning to air on Sunday 2 February as the national broadcaster has previously advised.

The reason is that deep cleaning and detox work at the ABC’s Canberra studio (main picture) where Insiders goes to air is taking a lot longer than anticipated, forcing the program to defer its 2025 return until a date to be fixed.

Highly specialised cleaners were engaged by the ABC immediately after the program went off air for 2024 in early December.

I have been told that the union representing the ABC’s regular cleaners directed its members in Canberra to black ban the Insiders studio until it was given a commitment that the program’s producers would no longer invite prominent Murdoch media Righter from The Australian, Greg Sheridan, (below) to join its discussion panel.

“Our members have long dreaded turning up to work after Greg has been a panellist on Insiders,” a Cleaners’ Union (NSW Television) spokesperson said.

“Right now we still have members of our Canberra sub-branch on sick leave after his last appearance back in September.

“Some time ago we noticed the link between a mysterious illness among our members and Sheridan’s appearances on the Insiders’ couch and sought the help of health researchers at the CSIRO to investigate it further.

“They determined that our members were being hit by a variant of OMS, or old man smell which is a potent mix of cocoa, talcum powder, urine, and Old Spice aftershave.

“It is transmitted directly through the nasal membranes of those unlucky enough to come close enough to smell someone with OMS while others, like our members, can be affected later by microscopic cardigan fibres the carrier leaves behind them.

“After taking blood tests and nasal swabs from our members the CSIRO experts identified  Sheridan as a carrier of a particularly virulent variant known as FRWOMS, or far-right wing old man smell.

“Looking back at the program’s calendar we can now definitely see why our members were really knocked for six by FRWOMS whenever they cleaned the Insiders’ set after Sheridan had appeared on the panel.

“So our members will not be returning to work until we get the assurance that Sheridan will not be invited back,” the CUNT spokesperson said.

I understand that others on the panel with Sheridan in September – Karen Middleton of The Guardian Australia, and The Australian Financial Review’s John Kehoe – were not affected by FRWOMS.

It seems before going to air the show’s host David Speers tipped them off to his practice of wearing discreet nose plugs whenever Sheridan has joined the panel. (below)

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