Today I can report that the announcement of former Nine Entertainment boss Hugh Marks (below) as the new managing director of the Australian Broadcasting Corporation has been warmly welcomed by the one entity that really matters – News Crap Australia.

Before explaining why, I can also inform The Bug’s reader that Mr Marks has outlined to me his plans to bring a more commercial focus to the national broadcaster to boost viewer and listener numbers.

“I plan to start by overhauling the ABC’s flagship programs by changing the tired old format of the current Q&A show and having TV legend Daryl Somers and Ozzie Ostrich host it each week with Dickie Knee posing all the questions,” he said (main picture)

“I also want to attract a bigger audience to the weekly Gardening Australia show by focussing less on gardens and more on the houses sitting in them.

“To that end Costa … ummm, whathisname will be axed as host and replaced by Scotty Cam who’ll talk more about home renos than native groundcovers and compost which I reckon is what people want to see.

“I’ll also be forging ahead with a plan I tried hard to get off the ground at Nine – having a single national news bulletin with the very popular Mick Molloy as chief newsreader. (below)

“I plan to poach Mick from the Seven Network’s popular Front Bar sports chat show, and he’ll bring with him the online gambling ads that make up so much of that show’s content.

“Everyone loves online gambling ads on TV, I know that much,” Marks told me.

Very importantly, the appointment of Hugh Marks has been welcomed by the ABC’s main critic, The Australian’s chief anti-ABC Righter, Gerard Henderson, (below.

Gerard told me he and others throughout the Murdoch media empire were “overjoyed” to hear the announcement of the appointment of Mr Marks to replace outgoing MD David Anderson.

“I actually couldn’t believe that the lefty, woke, wasteful, indulgent, arrogant, anti-Semitic ABC would have picked Mr Marks,” he confided to me.

“The ABC itself has just made my job so much easier. Now to the list of abusive adjectives I regularly use to attack the national broadcaster I can easily add ‘Marksist’.

“I couldn’t have done better myself if I tried. And believe me I try hard each day to destroy the ABC to support my employer’s commercial and political goals,” he said.

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