HEALTH MATTERS:
The physical and mental health of former radio star Alan Jones is expected to deteriorate rapidly in the coming weeks and months, according to online bookies, a behavioural scientist and a crisis management expert.
A swag of betting platforms have already slashed their odds on Jones still being with us for his 84th birthday on April 13 next year.
“Even if he is, we’re tipping he’ll be largely incapacitated by then and a diagnosis of rapid onset dementia will have been made, making it impossible for Jones to mentally contend with the simplest of matters,” a Sportsbet odds framer told The Bug.
“And his physical decline will be pronounced too. You may have seen footage of him yesterday using a cane to get into his car. We’ve now got him at 4 to 1 to be using a full walking frame, Harvey Weinstein-style, by the end of the year.
A spokesperson for Ladbrokes concurred.
“Vision of Jones yesterday depicted a ruddy, full-faced man in apparently reasonably robust health and mental awareness for someone in his early eighties but we’re predicting a rapid decline in the months ahead.
“We’ve got him at evens to shortly being seen shuffling along footpaths zombie style a la Alan Bond.”
A behavioural scientist at Sydney University’s sociology department, who asked not to be named, said the bookies were spot on in their predictions for Jones’s immediate future.
“Celebrities like Mr Jones are renowned for rapid deteriorations in their general well-being as they confront difficult times in their lives. It’s very, very common.
“Very shortly, he will clearly be at death’s door for any number of reasons, just like Christopher Skase was.”
And crisis management expert Steve Carey also believed the bookies and the academic were spot on as to the expected downward spiral of Jones’s general health and mental state.
“That would be my advice to Mr Jones if he was my client,” Carey didn’t tell ABC News Breakfast’s what-the-papers-say segment earlier this morning.
“I’d be making it clear that he needs to appear as if he’s totally incapable of completing a full sentence,” Carey didn’t add.

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