The question on everyone’s lips – everyone’s chapped lips and not just those in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania – is how on earth could today’s US presidential vote count be neck and neck if the polls are right?

I say that because I don’t think I’ve ever watched a person in international politics – and I’ve tken a deep interest in it for more than half a century – who makes my flesh crawl more than Donald J. Trump. I hope most of you BUGsters out there would agree.

Yam Tits. The Orange Baboon. The Tangarine Shitgibbon. Cadet Bone Spurs.

Whatever the appropriate nickname, he’s a deadset shocker. A lying psychopath with 34 felony convictions and many more charges pending. A pussy-grabbing adjudicated rapist with the very real possibility that he was a repeat pedophile at Jeffrey Epstein’s sex parties.

Don the Con. Mrs Putin. Traitor Trump.

Also a braggart and a bully and a man-child who is a compulsive divider of people. The self-confessed stable genius who knows more about any subject under the sun than another other person. The clever-clogs who can so easily recognise low IQ and mental defects in others.

Fiberace. Commander-In-Thief . Nostra-Dumbass.

The bone-spur lazy commander in chief whose earlier presidential term can only be described as a deadset economic and policy disaster and who, according to recent reports, might be very close to being declared bankrupt again.

A man who should have been forever ruled out of any chance of elected office after mocking a disabled person and who recently gave a pretend hand and blow job to a microphone stalk (at top).

A man who has spent countless rallies over recent times boring supporters shitless spreading bullshit conspiracy theories, unfounded vote rigging claims, laughable tales of immigrants eating pet cats and dogs and his admiration for close friend Hannibal Lecter.

And yet half of America’s voting population think he’s the solution to that country’s – and their – problems. Times must be terribly tough for mainstream America if they think Trump has ever been, or ever will be, the answer to their cost-of-living woes.

All that poses one fundamental question I need to address. Why should I give a flying fuck about what happens today in the United States, seeing half its adult population are clearly braindead, uneducated morons? Rubbish even.

But I do. And it worries me sick.

As arguably Australia’s most inaccurate amateur psephologist, I am totally unsure how that vote is going to unfold over the coming hours.

But I’m just hoping and not praying only because I’m not that sort of guy for a clear Harris win for America’s – and the world’s – sake.

A margin that defies those polls and is great enough that it might just that keep Trump’s crazy MAGA supporters. the Proud Boys and other far-right nutters from reaching for their ammo pouches and their military-grade firearms.

Don Gordon-Brown

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