
NEW YORK, NY: Former US President Donald Trump has ended his Make America Great Again campaign rally in New York by personally killing an alleged illegal immigrant.
The rally of Trump supporters at the landmark Madison Square Garden stadium was held a little more than a week from election day.
Supporting acts who entertained the crowd before Mr Trump’s appearance on stage included comedian Tony Hinchcliffe who cast slurs on Puerto Rico, ex-wrestler Hulk Hogan who repeatedly body-slammed a lookalike for Vice-President Kamal Harris while yelling “Take that, bitch!”, and Republican Party Senator Lindsay Graham who proudly showed off a glass jar containing his own testicles which he told the crowd he had just had surgically removed and was gifting to Mr Trump.
A musical interlude followed with the stadium crowd tapping its toes and singing along to a chorus of Proud Boys in blackface make-up carrying lit torches around the stage and singing “Jews and N—–s Will Not Replace Us”.
The stadium announcer then introduced former First Lady Melania Trump, using her recently adopted new name, Melania Eva Braun Trump.
Mrs Trump made very short introductory remarks during which she was seen to be blinking furiously in what a Morse code expert later claimed was an attempt to transmit the message: “Help me. Please. Get me and Barron out.”
Mr Trump then arrived onstage totally naked and giving the crowd stiff-arm salutes while standing in an open-top 1930s Mercedes-Benz led by a small vintage Panzer tank.
He then began a trademark rambling speech during which he theatrically grabbed at a number of cats while pretending they represented intimate parts of the anatomy of both Kamala Harris and former Democratic Party speaker of the US House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi.
Mr Trump then drew attention to his own genitalia which he introduced to the crowd as “Arnold Palmer’s twin brother”, although there was a lengthy silence and considerable muttering as the crowd attempted to make out the small and indistinct lumps of pale, fatty, ginger flesh appearing in close-up on the stadium’s jumbo video screens.
Mr Trump then renewed his attacks on Ms Harris and Ms Pelosi while pleasuring himself, pausing after speaking for five hours to have an alleged illegal Haitian immigrant dragged on stage.
The unidentified man, clearly under duress, drew a knife and fork from his pocket and proceeded to chase the cats around the stage.
The former President then grabbed the man by the collar and dragged him out of the stadium to cheers from the audience.
Followed by closed-circuit cameras feeding his actions back to the stadium audience, Mr Trump then walked with the unidentified man three blocks from Madison Square Garden to New York’s Fifth Avenue where his vice-presidential candidate JD Vance was waiting to hand him a loaded assault rifle which the former President used to shoot dead the Haitian man before returning to the stadium to speak for a further seven hours.

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