WILDLIFE:

Canberra residents have been advised not to overreact to news reports about the allegedly low number of koalas in the Australian Capital Territory. (below)

The reports suggest a wild koala had been seen in Canberra’s north for the first time since 2021 and a year after the native animal was formally listed as endangered in 2023.

But a spokesperson for the local koala population said the latest news reports and previous reports about the endangered status of the population were misleading.

“I can assure Canberra residents that just because you don’t see us, it doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of us out there,” the koala who did not wish to be identified told reporters. (main picture)

“The fact is, as most Aussies know, koalas like to sleep for most of the day.

“When you combine that with living in a place like Canberra that, let’s face it, is boring as batshit, of course we’re sleeping almost 24/7 and sometimes for days on end.

“I mean how would you like to live your entire life in a place where the most exciting thing that can happens is for a pissed Barnaby Joyce to fall off a planter box?

“For most us, the only thing that wakes us up is Michaelia Cash’s voice when she holds an outdoor news conference.

“So just because you don’t see us, doesn’t mean we don’t exist,” the koala said before dozing off in front of reporters before they had a chance to ask questions.

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!

Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com