SEARCH AND RESCUE:

The Murdoch media’s national broadshit The Australian says no expense will be spared in the search mounted overnight for the newspaper’s missing US correspondent Adam Creighton.

Editor-in-chief, Michelle Gunn, this morning addressed staff at the newspaper’s Holt Street headquarters in the inner-Sydney suburb of Surry Hills and told them they may need to prepare themselves for bad news if the search fails to yield results in the next few hours.

Mr Creighton (below) was reported missing by colleagues in Washington DC shortly after filing his latest column based on former US President Donald Trump’s bizarre behaviour at a Philadelphia campaign rally where he spent most of his time dancing to songs he requested.

It was the latest in a string of odd appearances by Mr Trump which have led many to question his mental state and cognitive abilities.

However, Mr Creighton’s column – like a string of comment pieces he has filed previously – lauded Mr Trump, put an undeserved positive spin on his behaviour, and again ignored the Republican Party nominee’s total, obvious, and proven unsuitability for any public office let alone US President.

Another reporter working in The Australian’s Washington bureau said he had heard Mr Creighton proofreading his column before filing it and had no reason to suspect he would disappear just moments later.

“The last thing I recall Adam saying aloud was when he read a line in his column about Trump that said: ‘I don’t want this to read like hagiography’,” recalled the reporter who did not wish to be named.

“I knew then that his column was another in the long line of hagiographies he has penned about Trump in line with The Oz’s pro-Trump stand, so I had no cause for concern.

“But then after I returned to my desk after grabbing a cup of coffee Adam had vanished.”

Ms Gunn said The Australian had engaged a team of experts in an effort to locate Mr Creighton.

“I have briefed both Rupert and Lachlan Murdoch on our efforts and both have said we should spare no expense in finding Adam whom they regard as one of the best publicists and stenographers working on Trump’ re-election campaign,” Ms Gunn said.

“We have already assembled a crack team of the Washington area’s top proctologists and gastroenterologists who are working non-stop on finding him.

“At this stage we think he may still be in Mr Trump’s lower colon, and we can only hope he is located and extracted before he crawls higher or runs out of air.

“Hopefully Mr Trump’s notorious flatulence and seepage problems may assist in our efforts to extract Adam as soon as possible,” she said.

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