Brisbane bon vivant Sir Des Patterson (main picture) says he needs “to correct the record” about comments he made in an online column this week critical of charity programs feeding disadvantaged children at school.

Sir Des, who pens restaurant and wine reviews under the name “Des Houghton” for the daily newsletter of the LNP’s Bowen Hills branch, The Courier-Mail, and Sky LNPNews said his latest online column (below) had been “taken out of context”. 

Citing state government funding for charities delivering free school breakfast and lunch programs at some schools for children who would otherwise attend lessons hungry, Sir Des said in his column: “The truth is there is no such thing as a free lunch.”

He wrote that the free breakfast and lunch schemes were evidence of the Palaszczuk and Miles Labor governments’ “welfare binge” and that the programs had “usurped the role of the family” and had helped turn Queensland into a “nanny state”.

But when contacted by The Bug, Sir Des said he wished to correct the record.

“I want to decant… whoops! Force of habit! I mean, I want to recant somewhat,” he said.

“My gripe was not with feeding hungry children, it was with the type and quality of the food they are being given.

“I’m outraged that they are served toast with Vegemite or honey and maybe a poached egg with a glass of milk or fruit juice when the government could do much better.

“From my vast experience as a food reviewer I don’t know why it’s so hard to give kiddies something more substantial, maybe a bavarois of bell peppers with a touch of ginger served on a parmesan disc to start with, or perhaps a silky dariole of foie gras with white truffles, and porcini mushrooms in a poultry jus.

“They could then tuck into some line-caught flame tale snapper with oscietra caviar and a champagne sorrel sauce, and finish up before the first bell – that’s school not pepper – with a crémet d’anjou with vine peach and a red wine coulis or a selection of farmhouse and artisanal cheeses.

“I also reckon the kids must get sick of just having milk and juice, so why not a glass or two of a 2018 Louis Jadot Chardonnay or the 2021 Domaine Michel Noëllat Pinot Noir with maybe a cheeky nip of a 1948 Domaine la Sobilane Muscat to go with the cheeseboard?” Sir Des said.

When asked how much such an upgrade to the free meals program would cost, Sir Des said he did not know.

“Don’t be stupid. I just scoff and guzzle that stuff. I never pay for it. There is such a thing as a free lunch, you know,” he belched.

Sir Des did not use his regular Saturday column today in The Courier-Mail to revisit the issue, instead handing his allocated space over to a full-page LNP advertisement for one of its candidates standing in the 26 October election. (below)

The Bug understands Sir Des settled on his pseudonym of “Des Houghton” as a tribute to the popular Australian-made white burgundy.

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