The Australian’s Janet Albrechtsen has once again cleaned up in The Bug’s Media Glass House Arse-Licker-of-the-Month award and is now holding aloft the trophy perpetually named in her honour.

But her win in the September race has not come without controversy; our judges had to delay the announcement of last month’s winner while they decided whether Albrechtsen should be granted dispensation to be considered even though her column rant on last year’s Voice referendum result was not run in hardcopy form until October 2.

As one of our judges explained: “It would have been a crying shame if Albrechtsen was forced to wait another month for recognition of her ongoing efforts on behalf of the federal Opposition to make Anthony Albanese pay politically over and over again for staging that referendum.

“And her general claim that the eventual overwhelmingly no vote was one for equality and equity in Australian society was mind-blowing in its audacity, considering the No campaign was based almost entirely on racist and divisive arguments, the main one being that whities were not being offered the same thing that darkies were.

“Given that it’s only our first nation’s people who are the ones lagging seriously behind on many of life’s markers, it was an absurd piece of logic-free nonsense to any decent Australian but unfortunately not to the racists and other non-thinking morons in our midst conned by Peter Dutton’s mindless “if you don’t know vote no” rubbish.

“So you can see why we’ve set aside our general entry rules and allowed her effort to compete for September glory. It takes something very very unusual – and, yes, totally disturbing if not outright frightening – in any person’s mind to conclude that the no-case’s racist and lie-riddled arguments and the referendum result that followed were good for our national equality and equity.

“Besides, if we’d made her contest the October arse-licking race, who else would have fucking bothered entering despite an entire month stretching ahead of us?

“Albrechtsen’s piece is a classic example of ringmastery. She continues to rim with absolute confidence. No-one else in Newscorpse comes close when she and her tongue are truly on song.

“And neither Rupert or Lachlan Murdoch or her bosses at The Oz will need to use dunny paper for quite a while after her latest effort of cloacal cleansing.”

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!

Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com