QUEENSLAND STATE ELECTION:

A cruel and heartless prank by LNP colleagues has left Queensland Opposition Leader David Crisafulli in hospital suffering from severe shock and depression.

Crisafulli is still lapsing in and out of consciousness in Royal Brisbane and Women’s Hospital after the prank at the end of the first full day of campaigning for the 26 October poll went terribly wrong.

The Bug understands that Crisafulli and his senior campaign team had gathered, after a full day’s campaigning in north Queensland, at 6pm at the LNP’s state HQ at Spring Hill to catch Nine News Queensland.

They eagerly awaited the bulletin’s opening minutes when they expected to see a string of either fresh or historical video images of home invasions and vehicle thefts as a result of the state’s out of control and burgeoning youth crime crisis and further details of the next Voice for Victims protest march.

Crisafulli was totally unaware that his colleagues had created a video showing a false news opening that claimed a series of early-season but very intense cyclones had formed off the coast of Queensland and were slowly tracking towards Cairns, Townsville, Mackay, Rockhampton, Bundaberg and other regional areas where the LNP is hopeful of picking up a swag of Labor seats.

The computer-savvy pranksters also used AI to show Nine’s state political editor Tim Arvier explaining to newsreaders Andrew Lofthouse and Melissa Downes that the cyclones meant Premier Steven Miles would now need to spend the entire campaign holding countless media calls to show his concern and love for his fellow Queenslanders and that this, historically, would see both his popularity and that of the Labor Party soaring.

The Bug understands that Crisafulli screamed out “Why would you do this to me, Jehovah?” several times before fainting dead away, tumbling out of his seat and collapsing on the floor with such force that the blue and yellow policy booklet he has been clutching to his chest over recent years spilled easily from his hands.

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