Despite a recent poll showing the LNP’s big lead in Queensland narrowing slightly, it’s still clear to Australia’s leading amateur psephologist – me – that the Opposition will easily win the 26 October state election.

And you BUGgers out there might be surprised to know that I desperately want that to happen, and here’s why.

Poll trends also show that federal Labor is in almost as much trouble as Steven Miles’s Labor government in the Sunshine State and there’s only one reason for that: Aussies throughout this big brown land of ours are really being hurt by the cost-of-living crisis and they’re hellbent on punishing governments at any level for their plight.

That reality is not going to change in the short term and on Labor’s shrinking primary vote, Albanese is going to lose quite a few seats at next year’s federal poll. His only hope is that he can offset those losses by doing better in Queensland than at recent polls.

And the only way they’re going to improve on the current five seats out of 30 they hold in Queensland is if Queensland can experience for a solid six months a truly awful, truly incompetent, unprepared David Crisafulli LNP government!

For make no mistake. Crisafulli, Jarrod Bleijie and Co. are going to experience the shortest honeymoon period in possibly world political history. It will be in Guinness Book of Records territory.

Victory in six weeks will force them to have surgically removed their little blue and gold policy booklets they’ve been clasping close to their chests for yonks. They’ll be forced to try to run a state and they’re going to be fucking awful at it. They might have learnt some lessons from the Newman years and not sack 14,000 public servants but we can always hope! They will still cut and they will still axe. We’ll soon find out the extent of that.

Put as bluntly as I can, they don’t understand how governments work. They don’t comprehend how the Palaszczuk/Miles government managed to run two surpluses before deliberately going into deficit to help people battle those cost-of-living woes. It’s what a good government does but it’s anathema to Crisafulli and his mob.

They’ve more or less signalled they are for less government in people’s lives. They will proudly tax and spend less, probably their only sensible option if they follow through with their stated plan to axe the high coal royalties that have allowed the existing government to fund the programs they have.

The bottom line is that they’ll fail completely in addressing the various problems the state does indeed face and my best guess is that they are going to be well and truly on the nose come May next year.

So come on, Davey and Jarrod! Give it your worse shot!

Lock up all those kids as you make them serve adult time for adult crime and turn them into hardened adult criminals as almost all experts in the field are forecasting.

Bring down that allegedly rampant youth and general crime you’ve been banging on for years about and fix health and housing woes, all with less money to pay for more police and more health workers!

Execute a typically lazy and lightweight right-wing policy platform that invariably follows relying far too much on blatantly biased and highly unprofessional mainstream media support.

Show us that deep down, you’re economic management dunces on a par with your federal counterparts.

I repeat: you’re going to be truly awful and that is possibly Anthony Albanese’s only chance of limping back for a second term, most likely in minority. Has there every been a prime minister trying so hard to be re-elected that he quite possibly won’t be? An argument for another day.

That aside, the very thought that after nine years of incompetent and corrupt government with three truly laughable prime ministers, the Liberal and National parties could be back in power federally after just one term in opposition fills me with absolute dread.

Don Gordon-Brown

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