Agent faces attempted murder charge!

FLORIDA: A Secret Service agent has been charged with attempted murder after firing multiple shots at gopher hunter Ryan Wesley Routh.

The Bug can reveal in a world exclusive that FBI investigators who have now talked to Routh’s family discovered that Rough – a devoted fan of Trump and his policies – had become increasing upset over recent times over reported gopher damage to Donald Trump’s international golf course at West Palm Beach.

And the decision by the FBI to charge the secret service agent followed the finding of a video copy of the 1980 movie Caddyshack in the backpack that Routh was forced to abandon along with his rifle, snack pack and Go-pro as he fled his gopher hide at the golf course under a hail of bullets. Routh did not get to discharge his rifle at any gophers before fleeing the scene.

“Thank God we at least now know that yesterday’s incident at the golf course was not a second assassination attempt in just two months on President Donald Trump,” a Republican campaign spokesperson told us.

“So naturally we are rescinding our plea for fresh campaign donations in the wake of this now apparently totally innocent incident.”

Charges against Routh for possession of a firearm as a convicted felon and possession of a rifle with the serial number erased will stand, as will fierce criticism of him from the GPLA, the Gopher Protection League of America.

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