THE UNITED NATIONS:

NEW YORK: The United Nations has announced emergency plans to withdraw a range of its frontline health services from world hotspots so they can be redirected to urgently assess and treat Righters at Murdoch family media outlets around the world.

UN Secretary-General, Antonio Guterres, (below) made the announcement following the end of the US presidential debate yesterday between former President Donald Trump and Vice-President Kamala Harris. (main picture)

“As soon as the debate ended it became very apparent to UN monitors that staff at Murdoch media outlets around the world are suffering a range of health issues needing to be treated urgently,” Mr Guterres said.

“These debilitating health problems were made very clear from the post-debate reports on outlets such as Fox News in the US, and Sky News in Australia, as well as the national broadshit The Australia.

“It became clear from those reports that Murdoch media staff are suffering from serious visual and hearing conditions as well as cognitive problems.

“If they watched or heard the Trump-Harris encounter there is no way they could have made the assessments of the debate that they did, which were epitomised by reports in The Australian. (below)

 

“Given the reports I have seen emanating from Murdoch media outlets I have no hesitation in withdrawing expert UN health teams from Gaza, Ukraine, and many other trouble spots around the world and have them fly to the US and Australia in the first instance to begin treating these very obvious eyesight and hearing problems among Murdoch staff,” Mr Guterres said.

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