Donald Trump’s return to the White House virtually assured after he wiped the debate floor with Kamala Harris, the former president has challenged the current vice president “to a debate every single day until November”.

A triumphant Trump sneered at the end of their debate: “I’m sorry to do that to you, Kamaltoe, but frankly you’re not my type!’ as he made suggestive thrusting motions with one of his tiny fists.

The Fox News network gave the debate in Philadelphia, in the key battleground state of Pennsylvania, this morning Australian time, It conducted a snap viewer poll and gave the debate to their hero Trump by 107 per cent to only 23 per cent for the “pathetically unprepared and delusional” Democratic hopeful.

Network anchors praised Trump for his masterful oratory and grasp of the key issues facing the average US voter as he vowed once more to drain the swamp, make American great again, tariff imports out of the market, close the borders and evict millions of illegal rapists and murderers if he doesn’t have them shot first.

“Those woke folk in the blue states certainly got a well deserved touch-up by a master tactician at the top of his game,” one-air personalities Alicia Acuna, Raymond Arroyo, David Asman, Michael Baden, Bret Baier, Julie Banderas, Maria Bartiromo and William Bennett all declared in unison, albeit at different times as they tag-teamed on air.

The expert hosts at Sky LNPNews Australia who were equally impressed with Trump’s winning performance used the same format Down Under as is their wont.

The network’s all stars – Rita Panahi, Chris Kenny, Peta Credlin and Andrew Bolt – were virtually beside themselves with the winning performance of the former president and their hero, all agreeing, with broad smiles on their faces – that Trump had given Harris “one almighty flenscing”.

Lesser lights at Sky LNPNews such as Paul Murray and Vikki Campion also chimed in and regular network contributor, author Douglas Murray, modestly welcomed the fact that Trump had followed his advice on how to combat the failed state prosecutor, upper-class toff and accent mimic.

Shock radio jocks at rival Nine Network Co. also sang the same victorious tune in full support of the “only presidential candidate capable of saving America from itself” while Peter Gleeson at 4BC in Brisbane wrote down everything all these others had said and repeated them on air.

The debate will be screened live on Australian TV from 11am today AEST.

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