Respected Brisbane-based public health researcher, Professor Feg Growler, head of Naturally Expelled Waste Studies (NEWS) at the University of Queensland, (below) is flying to the USA this morning to study a phenomenon previously thought to be unique to an isolated pocket of Sydney.

Speaking before boarding her plane at Brisbane International Airport last night, Professor Growler said she planned to spend at least a week in New York City studying an unexpected overnight outbreak of large-scale explosive diarrhoea at the Fox News studios in Manhattan.

The mass outbreak hit during an on-air rant by Jesse Watters (main picture) in which he was viciously attacking Democratic Party presidential candidate, Vice-President Kamala Harris, as a communist transgendered lesbian.

As he foamed, news broke that James Murdoch, son of Rupert, plans to vote for Kamala Harris as US President in the November elections (below) and Fox viewers immediately witnessed the Fox News studio rapidly filling with faeces.

Professor Growler, said the New York outbreak was identical to one occurring overnight at the Sydney office of the national broadshit, The Australian. (below)

“The simultaneous mass diarrhoea attacks at two newsrooms on two different incontinents,… I mean two different continents, appear to have been triggered by the reports about James Murdoch and his intention to vote for Kamala Harris in November.

“My previous work at the NEWS laboratory at UQ studying past outbreaks at The Australian, shows such a development would be sufficient to cause the widespread outbreaks among News Crap columnists and reporters that we have witnessed overnight.

“I am confident that my research in New York will prove that link which means I can wrap up the work fairly quickly, giving me time to take in a couple of Broadway shows,” Professor Growler said.

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!

Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com