MEDIA NEWS:

One of the national turdbloid’s prominent Righters, Gerard Henderson, has been ordered to take indefinite leave and rest for several weeks.

It is understood that The Australian’s editor-in-chief Michelle Gunn directed Henderson to take extended leave on full pay following an unannounced visit this morning by one of Henderson’s journalistic colleagues to his home Keithrupert in one of Sydney’s upmarket eastern suburbs.

The Australian journalist who did not wish to be identified said the surprise drop-in had shocked him.

“I was just driving through the suburb and decided to stop and say a brief hello to Gerard,” the anonymous News Crap Australia staffer explained.

“It was several minutes before 10am this morning when I knocked on the front door of Keithrupert and had heard a muffled shout from Gerard asking me to wait.

“It was about five minutes after 10am when Gerard finally opened the door and apologised for the delay while explaining that he had ‘just wrapped another episode”.

“The remark didn’t make sense to me until we entered the loungeroom and I saw a makeshift version of the ABC Insiders set with a ‘panel’ of mannequins bearing the faces of three of Gerard’s fellow Righters from The Oz. (main picture)

“Gerard very matter-of-factly told me – while turning off a TV set in the corner that must have been showing the real Insiders, but without sound – that he was very pleased with his hosting efforts on today’s program which had been ‘a corker’.

“He then proceeded to recount some of the comments supposedly made by his panellists as well as some of the questions he had fired at Deputy Prime Minister and Nationals leader, David Littleproud – Dorothy Dixers of course, Gerard admitted.”

The News Crap Australia source said his anxiety for Henderson’s health and state of mind was aggravated when he happened to catch a glimpse inside the house’s main bedroom.

“It was like one of those serial killer’s bedrooms you see in movies,” the eyewitness said.

“All of the walls were covered with pictures of past and present ABC identities with handwritten labels and notes all connected with lengths of different coloured tapes and crudely cut-out arrows.

“There were pictures of former ABC chair Ita Buttrose and current chair Kim Williams, Fran Kelly, Leigh Sales, Patricia Karvelas, David Speers, and many more all with big red crosses slashed across their faces, but oddly in one corner was a type of shrine with a picture of Gerard’s former fellow Insiders‘ panellist and verbal sparring partner David Marr (below) surrounded by candles.

“I was totally shocked at what I found and immediately contacted Michelle Gunn to let her know.

“I do hope Gerard gets some rest as well as the help he so clearly needs,” the unidentified journalist said.

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