Are we the greatest sporting nation in the world, or what!

Eighteen bloody gold medals and maybe one or two more before the Paris Olympics winds up in a few days.

Third on the Olympic gold-medal tally with only 26 million people!

Do you know how many gold medals USA and China should have won given their populations?
Well, the USA with almost 13 times our population (333 million) should have a gold haul of some 234 gold medals. And as for fucking China with 1.4 plus billion? Make that 972 of those heavy gold suckers.

How about that, eh? So everybody ready? Stand proud, Australia, grab that sprig of wattle or a can of Fourex and raise our voices in triumphant song!

Under the Southern Cross I stand,
A sprig of wattle in my hand,
A native of my native land,
Australia, you fucking beauty!

We are truly the greatest sporting nation in hist….. wait. WAIT!

What’s this then? New Zealand across the dutch has six gold medals – a third of Australia’s golden haul – with a population (5.1 million) less than a fifth of our Great Southern Land?
What the absolute fuck!

That means to be on level terms with our Anzac neighbours, we should now be on at least 30 gold medals! SHIT!

And even without any levelling up for population differences, didn’t New Zealand out-gold us in an Olympics this century? Or at least came close. Or have we conveniently forgotten that too?

Anywho, well done, New Zealand, with your shitty little population and bugger all results in the Olympic pool because it’s too fucking cold over there for most of the year to consider doing laps even in a heated pool.

And an extra well-done for my Kiwi grandson Matthew. You must be very proud of your country and even I can feel a refrain or two from God Bless New Zealand about to erupt from my unpatriotic voicebox!

God of Nations at Thy feet
In the bonds of love we meet
Hear our voices, we entreat
God defend our free land

***

Despite the nonsense of this post, let us never forget that at the moment, there are almost 120 countries competing in Paris who have not won a single gong yet have been giving their all at these Games. And all for the honour and glory – and fun! – of competing with little or no chance of reward of a medal of any colour. Nothing to boast about; just the sheer pride of representing their countries to the very best of their abilities and being involved in the amazing spectacle that is the Olympics.

Don Gordon-Brown

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