Kamala Harris is set to quit her bid to become the first female US President following stinging criticism from arguably Australia’s – if not the world’s – foremost politics analyst and commentator.

Despite having just secured the Democrats’ nomination, Harris wisely decided she had no other real choice than to pull the pin after a vicious excoriation of her past life, in and outside the public sector, from Sky LNPNews host James Morrow.

In a damaging assessment of her past history, Morrow used his Sky LNPNews television show to call on “her not so silent partners in the American press” to start asking tougher questions of the woman the latest polls suggest is in a neck-and-neck struggle with Donald Trump for the White House come early November.

Tag line for his TV segment was “Who is the real Kamala Harris?’: James Morrow uncovers vice president’s history!”

“So far, her campaign seems based on vibes and calling people ‘weird’,” Mr Morrow declared. “But I’m not sure that this vibe can survive contact with reality.”

Basically declaring that Sky LNPNews’ sister network in the US, Fox News, was the only balanced news source there trying to expose Harris’s many past weaknesses, Morrow declared that he personally had uncovered that she:

1. Had ended her last bid at the presidency without ‘winning a single primary vote’;

2. Had held precisely zero press conferences;

3. Had sat down to precisely zero major media interviews; and

4. Had been too busy on the campaign trail with twerking backup dancers!

In a relentless and ferocious attack, Morrow also declared he had uncovered that when it came to public policy, everything Kamala Harris had ever touched had turned into a public disaster, as opposed to Donald Trump’s past term in the White House that was simply brilliant and who proved himself arguably to be the best president ever, or at least since Abraham Lincoln considering what that bloke also had achieved through his love of black people.

But worse still, Harris:

1. Was a childless cat lady which meant she would have absolutely no idea as to how to deal with normal Americans who are not only tackling life’s major hurdles but who have done the right thing by their country and had children;

2. Didn’t know whether she was brown, black, brindle or whatever when at least everyone knew Trump was orange; and

3. Had this maniacal laugh which clearly meant she should never, ever, be anywhere near the nation’s nuclear codes or button!

A spokesperson for Kamala Harris told The Bug: “Given that eviserating critique from someone as respected as James Morrow, Kamala was left with no other choice really than to step aside. I’m sure she knows deep down she’s doing the right thing under the circumstances.”

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!

Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com