SOMETHING HAPPENING IN FRANCE*:

In a blow to Australian sports fans the ABC’s election analyst Antony Green has called the big sporting event now under way in the northern hemisphere for the United States of America.

Mr Green this morning told ABC TV viewers (main picture) that the USA had an unassailable lead on the medal tally board, even though Australia appeared to be outranking it.

“We now have enough medals from enough events, and a good cross section of sports for me to declare that the USA has won these Games, oops…. I mean this big event,” Mr Green said.

“This may come as a shock to Australians who no doubt have been expecting us to continue outpacing the Americans, based on our early gold-winning performances.

“But too many people see the raw figures of the daily medal tally and make the mistake of failing to give weight – pardon the pun – to each medal.

“Experts like me know that the raw figures on the daily table are ranked by the number of gold medals won by each nation, refined by the number of silver medals, then bronze.

“But once you allocate the relative points value to each medal – three points for gold, two for silver, and one for bronze – the rankings always change.

“On this morning’s table it looks like China is winning, but after points are distributed the real rankings will be USA, followed by China, France in third, then Great Britain.

“Australia is actually sitting at fifth place on the table, not third as the raw figures show.

“It’s a trap for young players, and it happens at every Olymp…. I mean at this big event every four years.

“Luckily really smart people like me are on hand to present the facts and shatter our overinflated, self-satisfied, nationalistic dreams,” Mr Green said.

* Because The Bug and the ABC are not official partners of the Paris 2024 Olympic Games we are not allowed to use the words Olympic Games, Paris 2024, Paris Games, Paris Olympics or any variation of them except in a disclaimer like this one.

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