RELIGION:

Australian-born US media mogul Rupert Murdoch has decided to undertake one last big campaign to install his preferred candidate in an important world leadership position.

Sources within News Crap Australia said Murdoch, soon to turn 107, was determined to see an Australian Pope in the Vatican before he died.

“Now that Cardinal George Pell is no longer in the running his favoured candidate is The Australian columnist Greg Sheridan (pictured above on a casual holiday in Rome) who right now is a self-appointed Cardinal but has always harboured ambitions for higher office,” the source said.

“Greg, I mean Cardinal Sheridan, continues to draw attention to his qualifications to be the next Pope by churning out with great regularity columns – or as he prefers to call them, epistles – proselyting for Christianity and the Catholic Church in particular, as he did just this week. (below)

“Rupert sees great synergy in launching his last big campaign immediately, given the favourable circumstances that exist right now.

“Pope Francis is 87 and, like all who take on the office, was no spring chicken when he took on the job and is now in declining health as the years catch up on him. By comparison Greg is just 67 – a teenager really compared to previous Popes.

“Rupert thinks the ideal outcome would be for Francis to expire this year and for Pope Greg I to be installed in The Australian’s 60^th anniversary year.

“Rupert has been telling anyone who’ll listen that Pope Greg I would be a tremendous boost for Australia as a nation as well as for The Australian which would become the official mouthpiece for hard-right Catholic viewpoints, as opposed to its current unofficial status.

“Strictly speaking Cardinal Sheridan would be Pope Gregory XVII if the plan comes off, but Rupert prefers Pope Greg I to ensure he will stand out from the crowd.

“He also says the shorter name would be far better to fit into tabloid headlines,” the News Crap source said.

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