OFFENSIVE GALLIC STEREOTYPES:

The International Olympic Committee (IOC) is downplaying what it says was “a relatively small glitch” in the opening ceremony of the 2024 Paris Games that ended just a few hours ago.

The Paris Olympics have officially started, following a colourful ceremony that took place overnight Australian time along the River Seine.

One of the best-kept secrets of the event was how the traditional Olympic torch that burns for the duration of the Games would be lit.

In the end it was the 2024 Games’ mascot, Pierre the Surly Croissant, who performed the task by driving onto the famous Pont Neuf in a Citroen 2CV, before exiting the car and drawing back heavily on an unfiltered Gitanes cigarette and flicking it at the Olympic torch located some distance away on the Left Bank of the Seine.

Unfortunately he missed the torch, shaped to resemble a glass of beaujolais, and his burning cigarette fell into the Seine, setting the heavily polluted waterway alight. (main picture)

The flames spread quickly along the river and very soon reached the Notre Dame Cathedral just upstream from the historic bridge. (below)

An IOC spokesperson said it was unfortunate that the fire had all but destroyed the landmark cathedral which has been the subject of a restoration project worth close to A$1 billion since a previous devastating fire in 2019.

When questioned about the incident by a throng of international reporters, Pierre the Surly Croissant merely shrugged his shoulders, lit up another Gitanes, pretended he could not understand the questions – even those from French-speaking journalists – and donned a horizontally striped t-shirt, before pedalling away at speed on a bicycle with a bag of baguettes and strings of onions hanging from its handlebars.

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