Harris vows to win ‘looming’ civil war

GETTYSBURG, Pennsylvania: The presumptive Democrats presidential candidate Kamala Harris has vowed here that her side of politics will win the American civil war that “is clearly inevitable after my victory in November”.

To the cheers of thousands of supporters at one of her first major addresses since Joe Biden steeped down, Harris cleverly chose the sight of the famous Gettysburg Battlefield here where union forces inflicted a major defeat of Robert E Lee’s Confederates in early July 1863.

“The Blues kicked Gray ass here and we’ll do the same in the months after November,” Harris vowed. “Only this time it will the Blues versus the Reds in that looming civil conflict!”

Harris’s fiery speech came days after Ohio state senator George Lang told a J.D. Vance rally: “I’m afraid if we lose this one, it is going to take a civil war to save the country.”

Some months ago, Donald Trump also warned of a bloodbath if he didn’t win in November and other Republican heavyweights have also warned of civil war if the vote doesn’t go their way.

During her one-hour, 32 minute address, Harris said it was obvious that Trump would claim the vote was rigged and unfair if he lost. “We only have history as proof of that!” she told her cheering devotees.

Harris repeatedly mocked Trump, refusing to use his real name and calling him “Old demented Donnie”, “Convicted felon Donnie”, “Pussy Grabbing Donnie”, “Rapist pedo Donnie” and “Poor loser and sook Donnie’ amongst other offensively personal epithets.

At one stage, Harris grabbed at her left ear and it is understand one of the countless bees feasting on summer wild flowers at the Gettysburg Battlefield site had stung her as it flew past. Harris hastily applied a bandage to the wound and bravely carried on (at top), declaring “God has well and truly been on my side here”.

Harris said that although Republican supporters in rural and regional America clearly had greater access to more powerful weapons as farmers and right-wing nutters, they should not underestimate the fact that the populated Blue states on the country’s flanks had “more than enough Saturday night specials to take the fight to our foes”.

“When it comes to the street-to-street fighting that will follow the election, we will win!
“And why? We better know the streets of our big cities. And we know how to Fight! Fight! Fight!”

She continued to shout those words over and over again while pumping her fists in the air and for a while there it seemed the crowd’s rapturous applause would never end.

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