Biden’s team projects new image

WASHINGTON DC: President Joe Biden’s campaign team has released a new official photograph (main picture) in an effort to divert attention from the Republican Party’s convention now under way in Milwaukee.

A White House spokesperson denied criticisms that the picture was a cheap and desperate attempt to lift the President’s image in the wake of the assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump.

“It’s nothing of the sort,” the spokesperson said. “The new photo has been released to prove that President Biden’s remains …. I mean President Biden remains very vigorous and active despite suggestions to the contrary.

“It is simply a candid photo snapped by the official White House photographer at breakfast time when Secret Service agents were assisting the President’s personal staff in administering his daily anti-constipation and incontinence medication – something the President doesn’t enjoy.”

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Details have emerged of the key concession Senator JD Vance sought from Donald Trump before agreeing to be his vice-presidential running mate for the November US elections.

Republican Party sources said Senator Vance was always keen to join the Trump campaign.

“JD wanted to be Trump’s VP pick, no doubt about it,” the source said. “So he made just one demand of President Trump before agreeing to run with him.

“JD asked that President Trump not incite unruly fascist activists to murder him if as vice-president he refuses the President’s orders to help destroy American democracy and the US Constitution.”

The Republican source said Mr Trump’s response to Vance’s demand was: “We’ll see.”

“That was good enough for VD so he’s on the ticket!” the source said.

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Unconfirmed reports suggest that independent candidate Robert F Kennedy Junior will soon bow out of the US presidential race.

A Kennedy spokesperson hinted at the possibility when confirming that donations were continuing to pour in, but a sudden rise in campaign expenses had put its future in doubt – notably a massive increase in the candidate’s already high personal insurance premiums since the weekend.

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