Let the honeymoan begin!

Sir Keir Starmer and Labour’s honeymoon in the UK will probably last about as long as a pimply faced Year Twelve leaver does while enjoying his first sexual liaison at Schoolies.

If the truth be known, it might not have lasted the short speech Starmer gave outside Number 10 after King Charles 3 through gritted teeth invited him to form government, hopefully for only one term. Right, Chucky?

Or in other words, has the honeymoan already begun? For let’s face the brutal facts.

Labour’s 33.8 per cent of the primary vote was the lowest vote ever to achieve a majority in the House of Commons.

The voter turnout of about 60 per cent was apparently the lowest ever. That should tell Starmer and Labour exactly what the UK electorate thought of both major players in this five-yearly exercise in Westminster-style democracy.

Summary: the broken people of a broken Britain haven’t endorsed Labour in any way, shape or form despite their 402 seat victory being the best since Tony Blair’s 1997 landslide. They put the sword to the Tories for 14 years of management, scandals, lies and prime-ministerial buffoonery. They reduced the Tories to 23.7 per cent of the vote, also their worst result ever.

My best guess is that Labour won’t have the answers that those broken Britons in a broken Britain will be demanding of it. They will end up a one-term wonder unless they govern with guts, determination and an overdose of courage Starmer and his colleagues have failed to show to date.

It’s one thing to hide behind some fancy slogans and keeping yourself as small a target as possible as the electorate punishes the Tories; it’s an entirely different kettle of haddock to try to fix the many ailments afflicting this once great country.

The one saving grace for Labour is that the past 14 years of conservative power should have laid to rest for ever the notion that only the Tories can manage economies well. Just as the 2022 election did for Australia.

***

The graphic below should also provide extra caution to Labour as to why it shouldn’t misinterpret the election result and entertain any misconceptions as to the level of support of those broken and desperate Britons.

Under the British first-past-the-post system, the Labour candidate in former PM Liz Truss’s constituency (seat) can thank Nigel Farage’s Reform UK for gravely splitting the vote on the right.

In Australia’s system of forced preferential voting, Truss – the PM who lasted 49 days in power, a full 49 days minus the 15 seconds that school leaver lasted at Schoolies – would more than likely have been reelected in South West Norfolk with a handsome majority.

I image Labour would have still won power in this sadly broken country under the Australian system but I repeat my warning to Labour not to get too swell-headed – like that school leaver – over whether any honeymoon can be justified or expected.

It’s very likely a honeymoan now hangs like a shadow over Labour as it strives to convince those broken Britons in a broken Britain that over the next half-decade, it can lift them out of their parlous financial states, repair badly broken and broke cities across this once green and pleasant land, fix the NHS mess and resolve the problem of boat people making their lawful trip across the English Channel, seeking asylum in the sadly misguided belief in a compassionate country that maybe no longer exists, as suggested by the Reform Group’s electoral performance.

Don Gordon-Brown

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!

Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com