MEDIA NEWS:

News Crap Australia has been urged to enlist its entire journalistic staff in emergency intensive training in basic mathematics following publication of front-page stories today in its metro daily turdbloids claiming its polling showed strong backing for Peter Dutton’s nuclear power policy. (main picture)

The turdbloids spruiked the results of a weekend poll conducted by News Crap Australia across the nation which included specific questions to people living in the seven communities earmarked by Dutton for nuclear power plants.

The News stories – as opposed to news stories – carried the headline “Aussies back a nuclear age”, but based its claim on responses to one benign question asking if nuclear power had a place in the nation’s energy mix.

However, nationwide results for two other questions revealed a majority – 53% nationwide but higher in many specific regions – would not be comfortable having a nuclear power plant in their state or region. A third question showed 62% of respondents would be less likely to vote for Peter Dutton as a result of his nuclear power plans. (below)

Professor Henny Jonningham (below), chair of the Combined Universities’ Newswriting Tribunal representing journalism educators across Australia, said the reporting of the polling showed a clear need for News Crap righters to undergo maths training.

“A better headline would have been ‘Dutton’s nuclear bomb’ given the very poor results for him and his so-called policy when you actually read the details of the poll in individual regions. (below)

“The only way News Crap Australia could justify its treatment of the polling results would be if it were deliberately and consciously acting as Mr Dutton and the federal coalition’s advertising agency.

“Oh, wait. I think I now see what’s happened here,” Professor Jonningham said.

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