Chinese Premier Li Qiang has used his first official meeting on his Australian visit to clarify the future of two pandas that have been on loan to Adelaide Zoo since 2009.

Speaking with Australian government officials last night soon after his arrival in Australia, Mr Li insisted on addressing recent speculation about the fate of the two pandas Wang Wang and Fu Ni. (main picture)

“The fact that Wang Wang and Fu Ni have failed to mate since their arrival in Adelaide will make no difference to their future once back in China,” he said through a translator.

“Once they have returned from Adelaide, and in line with past practice when other pandas have been repatriated, both will be renamed.

“In this case soon after arrival in China they would become Dum Pling and Won Ton,” Mr Li said.

***

Elon Musk (below) has used his own social media platform X to respond to strong criticism of his alleged US$56 billion salary package approved by shareholders of his Tesla electric vehicle business.

“There’s been a lot of attacks on me here on X for my supposed huge pay packet,” he X-creted. “But the salary is largely Tesla shares not cash and the figure quoted is based on whether the share price reaches specific goals. There’s no guarantee that it will and in any case I’ll get $56 billion only if I sell the shares.

“I must say I am very shocked that people would use X to hide behind anonymous accounts and launch vicious personal attacks and spread misinformation.”

***

Federal Opposition Leader Peter Dutton has clarified his decision to allegedly scrap the Albanese Government’s 2030 emissions-reduction target if elected to office next year.

“There has been considerable misreporting of my statement,” Mr Dutton (below) said. “I wish to state unequivocally that I am not planning to scrap the 2030 targets.

“What I thought I had made very clear in my earlier statement is that I plan to scrap 2030, the actual year, full-stop.

“Instead of 2030, I’ll be substituting 1950 which will fit perfectly with all the other policy initiatives I have announced since the last election, particularly nuclear power, demonising immigrants, and a return to the white Australia policy,” he said.

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!

Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com