The entire group of News Corp Australia employees who claim to be journalists has won The Bug‘s Media Glass House Arse-Licker of the Month trophy for May 2024.

Our Arse-Licker judges simply could not go past the entire group – and not just Sky LNPNews after-dark hosts and sit-down comedians – for their universal condemnation of ABC senior politics reporter for 7.30 Laura Tingle for her observations at the Sydney writers’ festival that Australia was a racist country and federal Opposition Leader Peter Dutton was himself a dog-whistling racist.

As one of our senior judges told us as he went around the judges’ table to see if any of the Bundaberg rum bottles still had a drop left in them: “It’s all rather breathtaking in its mind-numbingly illogical hypocrisy, isn’t it?

“Here was the “news” organisation that, almost to a man and woman non-journalist, fully backed the No campaign in the Voice referendum largely on the argument that any Voice to Parliament was racist and divisive because it was offering the nation’s darkies something that wasn’t been offered to whities, now taking universal and confected, high-range, umbrage at some home truths from Ms Tingle.

“And how did they score points in doing this? By shouting from the rooftops that anti-semitism was rife in Australia following Israel’s decision that Israelis and Palestinians needed to live together in pieces – well, one side at least – which seems to … ah, hem … support the notion that Oz truly is a racist country.”

Our Arse-Licker judges doubted there would be one senior management person at News Corp Australia “who’ll be needing to buy dunny paper for quite a while after the cloacal cleaning they’ve been given over recent days by staff giving them tongue pile-drivers they’ll remember with a smile on their dials for many a day”.

‘Such ringmastery and all in the name of bringing the ABC into further disrepute, which surely must have given the Dirty Digger in New York a timely, viagra-free, doughie to remember, given he absolutely loves any anti-ABC story that will bring its eventual selling price/closing down price right down.

“And with an arse you could safely eat a meal off right now courtesy of all his arse-licking staff, Rupert Murdoch’s new missus should be rimming with confidence and not have an excuse in the world for not giving the dear old, flaccid-arsed, nonagenarian a ring-a-ding-a-ling roseleaf to truly make his fifth honeymoon his best ever to date, so to speak.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: The Bug apologises to anyone out there in BUGland who might have been eating breakfast while reading this.

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