NEW YORK CITY: A juror in former US President Donald Trump’s Manhattan Criminal Court trial has exclusively revealed to The Bug why the panel took so long to find Trump guilty on all 34 felony counts.

Paraphrasing the charges, a member of the jury told us exclusively that it had been easy to decide that Trump was guilty of being “a shallow, fraudulent, sexist, racist, adulterous, amoral, immoral, racketeering, narcissistic, fascist, cheating grub”.

“It was a unanimous decision that we all made soon after retiring to consider our verdict two days ago,” the jury member said.

“We actually spent the rest of that time discussing among ourselves how anyone could actually have sex with the bloated toad, plus we tried to work out how he constructs that ridiculous hairdo each morning. It must take fucking hours.

“Oh, and we all decided to take a while because the sandwiches were very good too.”

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