MEDIA NEWS:

Major cost-cutting moves including the sacking of several high-profile columnists and numerous political reporters are expected to feature in a major restructuring of News Crap Australia’s operations set to be announced in coming days.

Three heavyweights of the Murdoch media empire – global chair Lachlan Murdoch, News Crap International CEO Robert Thomson, and News Crap UK CEO Rebekah Brooks, are in Sydney to finalise the plan. (below)

A source within News Crap Australia who did not wish to be identified said the plans would include changes to the operation of the company’s string of metropolitan daily turdbloid newspapers.  

“Under the plan all of the existing daily turdbloid hard-copy papers will go and metro news coverage will be delivered entirely online,” the source said. “That will save a squillion because the cost of printing an ever-diminishing number of hard-copy papers will evaporate from the company’s balance sheet overnight.

“There will also be deep cuts to political reporting staff at all the turdbloids and at the national broadshit The Australian.

“But the shift to an entirely online news operation means the metro sites and The Oz can take direct feeds of news releases from national, state, or territory branches of the Liberal Party, the LNP in Queensland, or the CLP in the NT.

“So readers won’t notice any change in the quality of News Crap Australia’s political coverage.”

The source said a number of long-serving columnists at The Australian were also likely to lose their jobs under the restructure.

“A totally online operation means The Australian can do without well-paid righters such as Greg Sheridan, Paul Kelly, and Gerard Henderson simply by taking online feeds directly from the Vatican News portal and The Times of Israel supplemented by Bibi Netanyahu’s news releases.”

The source said it was understood that the proposed changes had been agreed upon after senior News Crap executives debated a range of options including the sourcing of political news by hacking the mobile phones of senior federal and state politicians.  

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