Paul Murray, arguably the most loved and respected Australia wide of all the Sky LNPNews hosts, has made two demands of The Bug that, frankly, we’ll find it exceptionally hard to deny despite what some might see as arrogance and hubris on his part.

We are referring to demands by Murray that our inhouse judges of The Media Glass House’s Mainstream Media Arse-Llicker of the month award immediately:

1. Rule a line under the May 2024 award 11 days early and declare him the winner; but even more sensationally,
2. Give him immediate and perpetual naming rights to the monthly trophy, currently held by Janet Albrechtsen.

We are, of course, referring to his breathtaking Sky LNPNews post uploaded to the Microsoft Start search engine yesterday morning slamming Prime Minister Anthony Albanese for buying two “luxury private” jets while average Australians are battling a crippling cost of living crisis.

Here it is in full…

Sky News host Paul Murray says Prime Minister Anthony Albanese and Labor ministers are getting two luxury private jets while Australians get a “fist full of nothing” to help with the cost-of-living crisis.

“Two planes, $450 million, luxury private jets, for the prime minister … and the ministers and high-ranking public servants,” Murray said.

“Is there any other better example of ‘other people’s money’ than ‘we are dealing with the cost-of-living’ by giving you a fist full of nothing whereas they get not one but two private jets.”

Of course, his wider rant on Sky LNPNews itself is worth watching. Have a bucket handy though as he declares that it’s only the Labor side of politics who don’t know how to travel OS with appropriate restraint and the proper regard for taxpayers’ money. Come to think of it, grab two buckets just to be safe.

We at The Bug call Murray’s rant breathtaking because we do wonder how long he would have needed to hold his breath while giving Rupert and Lachlan Murdoch the coital cleansings of their lives, certainly the half-century plus decades Murdoch senior has enjoyed as the world’s most powerful media mogul ever.

“You could certainly eat a meal of either Murdoch’s arse for months to come on the strength of Murray’s ring-mastery,” our senior Arse-Licker judge said. “Here we have an arse-licker both brimming and rimming with confidence. He is truly at the bottom of his game!”

And he’s spot on. The Bug doubts its ever seen – in such a short, sharp, post of just three paragraphs – so much deliberate deception and denial of facts that we don’t think Albrechtsen has ever matched, to be fair.

Another of our judges explained the reality of the situation. “From the get-go it’s just brilliant LNP propaganda. Note the heading “Albo-nomics that clearly states he is responsible for the cost of these two jets.

“The reality of course is that Scott Morrison in government signed off on the two jets, as part of a normal 20-year upgrade.

“And see the repeated reference to “luxury private jets”. They are RAAF jets, owned by, yes, all Australians.

“Of course, facts are of no importance to an arse-licker of Murray’s coital cleansing class, especially when he’s got his tongue so far up the Murdochs’ clackers he’s basically tickling their tonsils.

“Now, if we decide to rename the trophy in Murray’s dishonour, Janet Albretchsen can bitch all she wants but quite frankly she’s got a frenzied amount of tongue work ahead of her to save her naming rights.

“Finally, does anyone think this arse-licking, rectal cleaning ranter and raver – we’re back to talking about Murray – would have had any interest at all in this story if Scott Morrison had won the 2022 election?”

It took The Bug several minutes to check ADM Group that claims its monthly online magazine is Australia’s most renowned source of in-depth defence and industry coverage and the preferred reading of the senior defence leadership in government and industry.

Let’s hear from ADM:

Rather than extend the current lease beyond 2024 the former government approved the acquisition of two new aircraft in December 2021. In February 2022 National Australia Bank (NAB) was awarded a $372 million contract, excluding sustainment, to provide the Commonwealth with two Boeing 737 MAX 8 aircraft through 2036.

The leases for the two current Royal Australian Air Force (RAAF) Boeing Business Jet (BBJ) aircraft expire in 2024. Government approval to replace these aircraft with two new 737-8 BBJs was provided in December 2021 with delivery of the two aircraft scheduled for 2024.

The other thing The Bug took bugger all time to dig out was the information that when the leasing costs for the new jets blew out, the incoming Albanese government decided to buy them outright instead – and for much the same outlay.

That’s right, people. In 12 years time, we – Australian taxpayers – will own the two jets if their lives are extended for some years. And when they’re finally sold off, they’ll still be worth a fair bob, any fair-minded person (that disqualifies Murray) would think. Sound economic decision-making, Murray would surely have thought and communicated with his viewer, if an LNP government had made that decision.

And when the lifespan of these new jets expires, no doubt Murray if he’s still around or some other Sky LNP News host will be applauding the government for whatever they get from their sale. Well, provided it’s a Tory government doing that at the time. Be perfect for some simple Sky LNPNews and Far-Right-Wing Views.

So to summarise then and repeat what we said earlier: does anyone out there in Bugland believe Murray would have any interest whatsoever in doing this story if Morrison had won the 2022 election?

Sky-Soaring Scottie just wouldn’t have cut it with him as a slogan.

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