AUSTRALIAN MEDIA:

An unseemly internal brawl has broken out between two senior righters at Rupert Murdoch’s national broadshit The Australian.

The Bug understands that a physical confrontation occurred this morning when longstanding columnist Greg Sheridan and the more recent recruit to the newspaper’s stable of far right-wing commentators, former TV journalist Chris Uhlmann, arrived at the newspaper’s Holt Street offices in Sydney.

One insider said the tension between the two had been brewing for several weeks but had erupted on Saturday with the publication of Uhlmann’s latest column in The Weekend Australian. (main picture)

“Chris wrote a lengthy column on … well, on….umm…. Actually none of us in the newsroom know what the fuck the column was about,” the source admitted.

“It was something about religion and politics and how churches – mainstream Western churches, not those heathen Middle Eastern Islamic outfits – should be running the world.

“Even the sub handling the commentary page had to read and re-read Chris’s piece many times to try to work out exactly what he was saying, but in the end gave up and just ran a spellcheck and waved it through after adding a cryptic headline. It was the best they could do.

“But once it was published Greg Sheridan (pictured below relaxing at home) hit the roof.

“Greg rang the editor-in-chief Michelle Gunn and gave her an earful, saying it was his job and his alone to write overlong impenetrable columns on the need for a global theocracy, preferably a Roman Catholic one.

“Then this morning when Greg and Chris appeared in the newsroom you could feel the tension in the air, and when Greg made a snide remark about ‘some people not knowing the difference between the arc of history and the ark of history’ it was enough to start both men pushing and shoving each other.

“They ended up scuffling on the newsroom floor with Greg pulling out his rosary beads and trying to wrap them around Chris’s throat who repeatedly hit Greg over the head with the crucifix he wears around his neck.

“It was only the intervention of Cardinal Paul Kelly (below) that prevented things escalating further.”

The newsroom source said tempers had now cooled after Ms Gunn directed Cardinal Kelly to hold a special mass and hear the confessions of both Sheridan and Uhlmann in The Australian’s in-house cathedral.

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