Qantas CEO’s choice Joyce gift

AVIATION:

The $120 million hit Qantas has taken for breaching consumer laws by not advising customers that flights they booked and paid for had already been cancelled has prompted its CEO Vanessa Hudson (below) to send a special gift to her predecessor Alan Joyce.

The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) announced this week that in addition to a $100 million penalty the airline would also pay refunds worth $20 million to an estimated 87,000 people who bought seats between May 2021 and August 2023 for flights between May 2022 and May 2024 but which Qantas had already cancelled.

Ms Hudson said in the wake of the settlement with the ACCC she had used an express delivery service to send a special package to Mr Joyce who has been living in Ireland since stepping down as Qantas CEO in September last year.

“I’ve had Qantas Catering make up a full tray of fresh and plump shit sandwiches and send it to Alan where he’s hiding out in Dublin,” Ms Hudson said. (main picture)

“I’ve been forced to eat a whole snack bar full of shit sandwiches since Alan left the CEO’s role, including fronting up and taking the public attacks after the bookings scandal came to light and for this week’s ACCC decision.

“I figure Alan deserves to share at least some of those shit sandwiches while he is lounging in Ireland enjoying the massive golden handshake he was given in return for trashing the good name and reputation of what was once one of the best airlines in the world,” she explained.

Ms Hudson said when arranging delivery of the shit sandwich to Dublin she had also included a special gift card which read: “Eat shit you overpaid self-promoting incompetent poisoned dwarf.”

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!

Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com