MIAMI: Recent social media commentary has prompted Donald Trump to consider enlisting a bear as his Republican Party vice-presidential running mate to counter his problem in attracting women voters.

A spokesperson for the Trump campaign said a decision on Mr Trump’s choice of a vice-president for a second term in the White House was needed soon in light of the upcoming Republican Party nomination convention in Milwaukee in July.

Those being considered on a shortlist of contenders include (from left in main picture) Fozzie Bear, Yogi Bear, Boo Boo, and Smokey the Bear.

“Mr Trump believes that any of those on the list would boost the ticket, attract more votes from women, and guarantee him an even bigger win than he achieved in 2020,” the spokesperson said.

***

NEW YORK: Pandemonium has broken out at the Metropolitan Museum of Art following the red-carpet arrival of dozens of guest at this year’s Met Gala.

An eyewitness said the problems arose once guests in ludicrously outrageous outfits had walked the red carpet to be photographed by paparazzi.

“It was fine up to that point,” the eyewitness said. “But once inside the Museum nobody knew what the hell they were actually there for and what to do.

“So everyone just started parading around as if they were still on the red carpet, which caused chaos as those wearing some of the more voluminous outfits began bumping into each other.

“Hopefully next year there might be some point to the whole event,” the eyewitness said.

***

TEL AVIV: Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has explained the reason for his rejection of a ceasefire offered by terrorist group Hamas and his intention to press on with his foreshadowed assault on the city of Rafah in southern Gaza.

“It’s very simple,” Mr Netanyahu said. “The Hamas offer was not acceptable to me or my government because it would have stopped our efforts to achieve our genocidal goal of the entire elimination of all Palestinians in Gaza.

“If Hamas comes back with a new offer that meets that criterion I’ll consider it right after we finish flattening Rafah.”

***

BEIJING: The Chinese Government is reported to be “taken aback” by the dressing down given to it by Deputy Prime Minister and Defence Minister Richard Marles following the release of mid-air flares by a Chinese military jet near a Royal Australian Navy helicopter near South Korea.

Senior sources in Beijing said Chinese officials were shocked when Mr Marles personally rang the office of Chinese President Xi Jinping to lodge a protest.

“The call from the Deputy Prime Minister really had an effect because until now nobody here knew that Mr Marles spoke Chinese,” a presidential spokesperson said. “We’re still not sure if he was speaking Mandarin or Cantonese but it certainly wasn’t English.”

When asked in Canberra why he had kept his Chinese language skills a secret until now, Mr Marles responded: “What are you talking about?”

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!

Follow The Bug Online on WordPress.com