UK police raid royal reporters

ROYAL NEWS:

LONDON: Scotland Yard has confirmed its officers have conducted a series of raids this morning to arrest royal correspondents employed by a range of British media outlets.

One of the first to be arrested was UK Sky TV’s royal reporter Rhianon Mills (main picture) whose apprehension was captured when police swooped while she was presenting a live report outside Kensington Palace for a breakfast TV program.

A Scotland Yard spokesperson said Ms Mills was just one reporter to be arrested, with others taken into custody either at their homes or at television or newspaper newsrooms across London.

“At present we believe there are more than a dozen royal reporters in custody at various watchhouses across the city,” the spokesperson said.

“All are expected to be charged with a string of fraud offences and all should appear in court for mention later today.

“Their arrests follow an extensive investigation undertaken in recent days by a specialised police squad assembled following the weekend video statements by the Princess of Wales about her cancer diagnosis.

“In the wake of that statement Scotland Yard assessed past reports by all royal correspondents who claimed to have inside knowledge of and access to a variety of so-called ‘reliable royal sources’ or ‘palace insiders’ or ‘sources close to the royal family’.

“The squad found that none of the supposedly well-connected royal reporters was able to break the story of the Princess’s condition – or indeed the King’s own cancer diagnosis – despite their self-proclaimed deep and intimate connections to the royal family.

“Basically they’ve all been recycling useless gossip, trivia, or hearsay for years and presenting it as ‘fact’ and styling themselves as authoritative journalists when in fact they’ve been paid handsomely just for making shit up.

“Some of the longer-serving royal reporters could be facing hundreds of fraud charges dating back years, as well as the possibility of many years in gaol,” the spokesperson said.

The Bug’s attempts to contact its own royal correspondent, Tristan Coyte-Rimmer, (below) were met with a recorded mobile phone message explaining he had taken “unexpected leave at an undisclosed location for an indeterminate period”.

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