Two of the Liberal National Party of Queensland’s most active branches are in mourning after the results were published of a shock poll on voting intentions for the looming state election.

Displaying the Australian flag at half-mast at their respective headquarters are the LNP’s Bowen Hills Branch – The Courier-Mail and The Sunday Mail – and the LNP’s Mount Coot-Tha Branch – Nine News Queensland.

The flags were lowered at both HQs after the Brisbane metropolitan monopoly Courier-Mail several days ago published a UComms poll it had commissioned that showed Labor and the LNP were neck-and-neck with a 50-50 split, the first time the parties have been level since December 2022. The new poll surveyed 1,700 Queenslanders on February 13.

President of the LNP’s Bowen Hills branch, Chris Jones, who is also editor of The Courier-Mail, was clearly dismayed by Labor’s turnaround in the poll, which also showed Premier Steven Miles trailing Opposition Leader David Chrisafulli by only two points as preferred leader.

“We’re in shock; we really are. And we are dismayed, if you want to use that in a heading? It really makes you wonder what my hard-working team of fearless and fair journalist has to do to ensure Queensland voters see sense at the election in late-October,” Jones (pictured) told The Bug.

“We’re just going to have to ramp up our stories about youth crime that continues to spiral out of control throughout the entire state and has everyone fearing for their lives, the deadly hospital ramping crisis and a health service that is in complete decay anyway, and of course the cost of living crisis that the Miles government has shown absolutely no desire to tackle.

“And we might have to ask James Campbell from his Sun-Herald office to pump out scathing anti-Labor colour pieces that we can splash with much earlier than we have done in past state election campaigns where we have waited until the campaign proper begins to use his powerful, excellently researched and objective pieces!”

The president of the LNP’s Mount Coot-Tha Branch, who asked not to be named but admitted he was also the news editor at Nine News Queensland’s nightly 6pm bulletin, added his own heartfelt plea: “What on earth is wrong with Queenslanders?” he asked.

“We’re going to have to ask the Voice for Victims protest group to hold weekly rallies along George Street to the Parliament House from now on and then back them to the hilt with their claim that the Labor Government is doing diddly-squat to tackle youth crime and make Queenslanders feel safe once again in their homes and when they are out and about in the community.

“Night after night we show David and Jarrod [Bleijie] clutching their blue “Our plans for Queensland” booklets so why, oh why, hasn’t the LNP moved well ahead in the polls?”

“We often give them two bites of the cherry on any particular issue so maybe we’ll have to cut out the government’s side completely?”

Both men said a key factor in the October poll would be to convince voters that no government really deserves a fourth term.

“It’s an historical fact that governments get lazy if left in power too long. They get too chummy with their public servants, they take their voters for granted and they completely lose any sense of vision other than to be re-elected for re-election’s sake,” Chris Jones added.

“Except of course for the LNP administration in Brisbane City Council, who totally deserve a sixth four-year term! Isn’t that pattern of alternating yellow and blue rectangles they run down the left-hand-edge of their election material simply wonderful! Brilliant marketing.

“Although I’ll never understand how we [the LNP] have allowed the city council to use the exact same pattern all these years during council terms. The council really are dreadful cheats.”

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