Judges of The Bug’s monthly Media Glass House Arse-Licker of the Month award have sheepishly admitted they came to blows at their first preliminary meeting yesterday to assess likely candidates for the February honour.

“There are five of us and it became clear even before we had too many rumbo and cokes that two were absolutely adamant that nominations should be closed off and the monthly award given to Sky News’s Brisbane’s bureau chief Adam Walters for a coit-cleaning effort at Premier Stephen Miles’ address to the Queensland Media Club early in the month,” said one judge who requested anonymity.

“Look, there’s no doubt Walters was brilliant and Rupert and Lachlan Murdoch and state LNP leader David Crisafulli all now have arses you could safely eat a meal off.

“In a long winded question – and he’s famous for them – Walters demanded to know why Miles had not mentioned youth crime in a speech on housing.

“Poor Miles then readily answered a number of questions on youth crime but Walters wasn’t to be denied his bid for ringmastery.”

The source pointed to The Guardian Australia’s accurate and fair assessment of what happened next. The Guardian reported:

Sky News’s Brisbane bureau chief, Adam Walters, asked the premier why “there wasn’t a single reference to youth crime” in his housing speech.

The new Labor leader … answered “it was a speech about housing” and “I figured I’d get a question”, which prompted laughter from the room. The premier had, after all, just answered several questions about crime – and none about housing from the media.

When Walters asked again about the “absence of any reference to youth crime in your speech” Miles smiled wryly and then giggled, seemingly amused at the tone and the persistence of the questioner.

This exchange with Walters was fashioned into a [Sky News] story about how the premier laughed when he was asked questions about crime.

Sky News also ran part of the earlier exchange but not the laughter of the audience.

Cue the negative stories which rolled out across News Corp, the Daily Mail and social media.

Joining in the pile-on and giving gravitas to Walters’ totally bullshit scenario was his Sky News colleague Bianca Bongata, showing how easy it is to keep slipping in the knife while supposedly giving the Premier a right of reply.

Our Arse-Licker Award judge added: “Yep, there it is in a nutshell. A doctored video and a fake ‘news’ story from fake journalism as practised by a fake news organisation allowing all the usual suspects to pile onto Miles for his supposed gross insensitivity.

“Look, I accept that our dissenting judges had a pretty good argument to rule off this month’s awards early.

“But we are talking about this nation’s woeful mainstream mediocre and with a week left, who knows what else they’ll come up with but, yes, it will have to be an absolute coit-cleansing classic to beat that effort from Walters.”

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