Contrite Joyce explains: I mixed my medications!

CANBERRA: A redfaced Member for New England has explained how he ended up supine on a Canberra footpath last week, swearing profusely on his mobile and seemingly incapable of getting back on his feet after taking a tumble, leading to suggestions he might have been inebriated.

“The simple explanation is that I’ve mixed my medications,” former Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce said in a statement issued at his Tamworth electorate office this morning.

“Do you think I didn’t want to get up immediately and save the embarrassment of that video (at top)taken of that incident,” Mr Joyce wrote. “My legs and arms simply weren’t moving.

“I attended two night functions at Parliament House last Wednesday night and I’ve no idea why I’ve mixed up my usual medications: I drank only my usual double Bundy and rums at the first function and then stupidly moved onto to triple Bundy and rums at the second.

“Clearly that’s proved a disastrous combination and for that I am truly sorry.”

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TEL AVIV, Israel: Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has praised the one-and-a-quarter million Palestinian citizens who are now desperately trying to make their exodus from the southern Gaza Strip city of Rafah into Egypt.

“I know that those mainly women and children are dying to leave Rafah and the Israeli Defence Force is doing everything in its power to help make that a reality.”

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