LONDON: Buckingham Palace has revealed that a heartfelt get-well-soon message from an Australian organisation “has greatly moved King Charles 3 more than any other as he bravely battles his cancer diagnosis”.

“His Majesty was visibly moved by the message and is immensely grateful for its contents,” a palace statement said.

The Bug can reveal exclusively that the palace is referring to a compassionate and moving videotape sent to His Majesty by Australian Republican Movement chair Craig Foster (pictured, left, above).

We can reveal that Foster who taped the message yesterday is seen to be close to tears himself as he says: “Your Majesty Charles the Third, by the Grace of God, King of Australia and His Other Realms and Territories, Head of the Commonwealth and Defender of the Faith, The Australian Republican Movement has been left shattered by news of your cancer diagnosis.

“We are all praying here that your treatment will be completely successful and that you may continue to reign over us well into the future.

“We really are relying on that, seeing you remain our best fucking chance of ever becoming a republic.”

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SYDNEY: A new poll of rich, rusted-on Liberal voters in some of Sydney’s harbourside federal electorates shows they will once again vote Liberal as usual at the 2025 election.

The poll shows that the Albanese government’s decision to halve their income-tax cut in changes to the the stage-three tax cuts legislation will have no bearing at all on their voting intentions, meaning they will once again have a fuck-all say really in the poll outcome where they live.

“Labor could have completely abolished all income taxes for the nation’s top earners and they’d still have voted Liberal next year,” a poll spokesperson would have said if this news brief wasn’t completely made up, if those new to The Bug haven’t realised that yet.

The poll of those rich, rusted-on Liberal voters across harbour-side seats now held by Teals or independents has a margin of error of zero.

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