The column that has fun with the smaller mistakes and missteps of Australia’s mainstream mediocre; that pays homage to those sweet little fishes that individually don’t amount to a full meal but collectively can cause a tummy upset over the overall state of the once great and noble craft of journalism in this country.

It’s been a while since we’ve had some fun with the minor bloopers that are still all too common that our Mediocre Bytes compilers really do wonder if any training exists anymore for tyros in our once proud craft.

Even as we began collecting these little snippets the other day, we heard in the background on ABC Radio that a vehicle “had collided with a road rail”.

In another life, a cadet would probably not have finished their first week on the job without having it drummed into them that a collision is between two moving objects. They would also have been told to write “two vehicles collided” not “one vehicle collided with another” which could be seen to impart guilt. Nevertheless, we see the latter all the time.

What the vehicle mentioned above did was to HIT that guardrail. HIT! Accurate and using fewer words. HIT! It’s not rocket surgery.

***

A few weeks back, ABC news in the morning repeatedly stated that Australia had beaten Pakistan by nine wickets in their third and final Test at the SCG. Close but no cigar.

Given the enormous publicity around the fact that in his last Test innings, David Warner had been dismissed for 57 just short of the victory target and Usman Khawaja had gone for a duck the night before, even the most casual of cricket followers would have called that result for what it was: an EIGHT wicket victory. It’s not rocket surgery. And how on earth does such an annoying error happen in such a supposedly professional newsroom?

***

And sticking with the ABC here’s an online tease recently for a Donald Trump court story.

One extra little word was needed there. Trump ORDERED to pay writer….

The American legal system is no different to ours. It favours the rich over the poor and with the US appeals process, Trump is likely to be as old as Joe Biden before any money changes hands… if it ever does.

Picky, picky on our part? We don’t think so. It’s why since this column and its more serious sibling Media Glass House began many years ago, we’ve counselled young journos to always write “police SAY they called off the pursuit” before the fatal crash. “Police called off the pursuit” is and will always remain sloppy journalism. As with cars colliding with guardrails… or houses ….or any other immovable object.

***

And let’s finish with our dear ABC TV Weekend Breakfast presenter Fauziah Ibrahim who asked her sports presenter the other day how things were shaping up at the US Open.

A simple slip of the tongue perhaps as the Australian Open neared its final stages but is it possible that someone on the set – an Australian Labor Party “lobotomised shithead” supporter perhaps? – sabotaged her autocue?

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