ARSELICKER OF THE MONTH:

News Crap Australia’s Sydney-based Liberal Party copywriter James Morrow has made a strong bid to be The Bug’s first Arselicker of the Month for 2024.

While the month is just past its half-way mark, judges have been blown away by Morrow’s latest efforts at penning Liberal Party advertisements for News Crap Australia turdbloids.

His latest advert published on Wednesday (main picture) tackled the contentious issue of “culture wars” and followed the call by Opposition Leader Peter Dutton for a boycott of national supermarket chain Woolworths in retaliation for its decision not to stock and promote Australia Day merchandise.

While unbiased observers of Australian politics might view Dutton’s action as both reckless and remarkable – Can anyone imagine Sir Robert Menzies doing the same? Or even John Howard? – Morrow jumped in boots and all in defence of the current Liberal leader.

Of course, right on cue – or perhaps more correctly, Right on cue – Morrow’s column laid the blame for the latest skirmish in the culture wars squarely at the feet of Prime Minister Anthony Albanese.

How he did so deserves an award in itself. Perhaps a gong for political commentary contortionists.

In short, it seems that Albo has committed the sin of acknowledging the changing attitudes towards Australia Day and for – heavens above! – acknowledging that our nation’s history didn’t start with Captain Cook or the First Fleet but stretches back to our First Nations.

Morrow makes the case that it’s the PM that’s the biggest offender in the culture wars while largely ignoring, excusing, or applauding Dutton’s Trumpian dog whistling.

Yep, Peter Dutton will never need to darken Woollies’ automatic doors to buy toilet paper ever again as long as he has James Morrow standing by ready to lick his coit clean as he did on Wednesday.

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