Perth-based LNP publicist Kimberley Caines was the clear judges’ choice for The Bug‘s Media Glass House Arselicker for the month of December award.
Ms Caines also writes for the West Australian.
Our Arselicker judges have announced the final monthly award for 2023 early so they can now spend time looking over the fecal-flicking frenzy of not just Ms Caines’ fine tongue work but all the other monthly winners this past year who have known instinctively what their bosses expect to see pour from their poisoned pens.
Ms Caines’ gong is, of course, for her excellent piece (at top and below) getting stuck into PM Anthony Albanese for having a temerity to accept a taste-test of a $500 bottle of red! RESIGN NOW!
It’s brilliant, isn’t it? CAUGHT OUT! Love the link to all other Australians battling a cost-of-living crisis. Now, of course, other LNP publicists got in on the act as well, including James Campbell, who also writes for The Herald Sun.
Don’t you just love the “sour taste”!? The PM being “slammed” for tasting that top red! The reference again to all other Aussies battling that blasted cost of living crisis.
It was all LNP publicity bullshit, of course. Albanese and his girlfriend were on holiday – believe his version of events and they paid for their trip west, and their lodgings, and, yes, for their wine-tasting exercise at that Margaret River winery.
Those pesky facts mean fuck-all, of course, when you’re on a mission, as is the case with Kimberley Caines and sloth impersonator James Campbell.
Still, why have we singled out her for individual end-of-year Arselicker trophy glory?
See, here’s the rub. Labor in May 2022 just limped into majority government on the back of seat gains in and around Perth. It’s the mission of West Australian newspaper owner Kerry Stokes to reverse that nonsense in 2026 and rightfully restore the LNP as the natural party of national governance. And that makes that mission Kimberley Caines’s as well.
She has to put aside facts – ignore the basic tenets of fair and balanced journalism – and get stuck into Albanese with this sort of mindless, risible, right-wing rubbish.
Our Arselicker judges and The Bug generally ask only this of Kimberley Caines: we don’t give a flying fuck what you call yourself but just don’t say you’re a journalist. We don’t give a flying fuck what you call that shitrag you work for but just don’t call it a newspaper.
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