Drama over the King’s speech

Today’s traditional broadcast to the Commonwealth and beyond by His Majesty King Charles III will be performed live to air after the original version was sabotaged.

I can report exclusively that His Majesty was informed early this morning Australian time that there was a major problem with the digital file supposedly containing his speech which Buckingham Palace was about to send to media outlets around the world.

My Buckingham Palace sources tell me that a last-minute check of the digital file showed a different speech entirely.

“It was very lucky that a final check was made of the speech,” one palace insider confided to me.

“It turns out the file contained a speech recorded by Prince Andrew as his late mother Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. (main picture)

“In it he pretends that he is the late Monarch returned from the dead like the Ghost of  Christmas Past of Charles Dickens.

“As the Queen he sings the praises of her middle son – himself – and makes a case for his return as a working royal and, more importantly, to return to being paid from the privy purse.

“Oh, and he, I mean she, also demands that all possible future legal actions or charges against him, Prince Andrew, should be deemed null and void.

“He, or the late Queen, says his, or her, request is not an unreasonable one given his, or her, 70 years of service on the throne.

“How he thought he would get away with this sort of sabotage is anyone’s guess,” my senior source said.

My palace sources added that His Majesty King Charles was furious that his younger brother had tried to pull such a stunt and was even angrier when he found out that Prince Andrew had destroyed the King’s speech in his efforts to substitute his own.

“His Majesty was most upset that his Christmas Day was interrupted by having to make his speech again,” one courtier told me.

“He even asked if it were strictly necessary that he even make the speech and why instead a rerun of an episode of Mister Bean couldn’t be substituted.”

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