ADVERTISING:
National retail chain Bunnings Warehouse has taken the unusual step of releasing a special advertisement on Christmas Eve.
A spokesperson for Bunnings said the ad which does not promote any of the chain’s products would be screened on high rotation today on free-to-air channels, pay-TV, in cinemas, and online and had been commissioned by the chain’s major suppliers.
“It’s basically a ‘thank-you’ Christmas card from our dominant suppliers and was produced and supplied by them,” the spokesperson said.
“They recognise that they make a shitload of money throughout the year wholesaling to us low-quality mass-produced items at high prices which Bunnings continues to stock because we in turn can mark them up massively and make a shitload of cash too,” the spokesperson said.
Speaking in broken English and at times difficult to comprehend, the unidentified supplier representative fronting the advertisement (main picture) thanks customers of Bunnings for the “beachhead” suppliers had been able to establish in the Australian economy.
The spokesperson for Bunnings said the advertisement was shot and packaged offshore by major suppliers so he could not explain other references it made to “a future and imminent invasion” or remarks critical of the AUKUS pact and statements that Australians would soon see a lot more of suppliers’ “long-range hardware” up close.
Advertising gurus Todd Sampson and Russel Howcroft (left and right below) said the special advertisement was a sound investment by suppliers to Bunnings.

“It helps build customer relations,” Mr Sampson said. “The only thing I would have done differently would have been to have the bloke fronting the ad wear a tee shirt.”
Mr Howcroft agreed saying: “Although I haven’t actually seen the ad I reckon it sounds brilliant as long as they spend a motza, Yeah?”
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