MEDIA NEWS:
News Crap Australia has unveiled a deal that from tomorrow will see a rebranding of its hard-copy metropolitan turdbloids and their editorial control placed in the hands of Gerry Harvey, head of the Harvey Norman national retail homewares chain.
The first three newspapers to hit the streets with new mastheads in time for Christmas are Sydney’s Daily Telegraph, Brisbane’s The Courier-Mail, and Melbourne’s Herald Sun. (left to right in main picture)
A company spokesperson said the changes were made to meet commercial realities.
“Something had to be done in the face of almost zero advertising revenue for each turdbloid apart from ongoing Harvey Norman campaigns,” the spokesperson said.
“Rupert Murdoch is a realist and decided, ….. ooops, I mean Lachlan Murdoch is a realist and decided to cut his losses by handing over the papers to be run by Gerry Harvey,” the spokesperson said.
“It’s a stroke of genius on Rupert’s … I mean on Lachlan’s part because ownership of the papers doesn’t change.
“Rupert, err, Lachlan has ensured that News Crap Australia still owns the publications but all responsibility for editorial content will rest with Gerry Harvey because he’s the only one placing ads. It’s a win-win for both sides.
“Nevertheless, because of the long history of the papers the decision to make the changes was not an easy one.
“It really was difficult for Rupert … I mean for Lachlan Murdoch to tell Lachlan … I mean to tell himself to do the deal and make the changes.”
The News Crap Australia spokesperson said the NT News in Darwin would be renamed the HN News.
“But the Adelaide turdbloid The Advertiser will not be changing its masthead,” the spokesperson said.
“Both Gerry Harvey and Rupert …. I mean Lachlan think the name is quite apt as it is.
“Only a minor change will be made so the paper will be known as THE Advertiser to reflect the reality of the situation.”
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