The BBC is set to revive the popular Two Ronnies comedy series which ran for 12 series on the UK public broadcaster and on the ABC here in Australia between 1971 and 1987.

But the really big news that I can reveal exclusively to readers of The Bug is that the planned remake will star two former prime ministers – Britain’s Boris Johnson and Australia’s John Howard.

Sources within the BBC tell me that the decision to revive the hit show was made after senior executives from the broadcaster’s light entertainment division witnessed the performances of both Johnson and Howard at an event in Sydney earlier this week. (main picture)

“A couple of us from the BBC were in Sydney and received an invitation to attend Boris’s appearance at the John Howard Lecture organised by the Menzies Research Centre,” one source told me.

“We’re all glad we did because it was pure comedy gold and those of us at the BBC table put our heads together and decided we needed to sign up Boris and Howard on the spot.

“The whole concept of a clueless, egotistical, talentless, upper-class British buffoon offering up strategic political advice to Australia and indeed the world was simply hilarious.

“As I watched his performance, I realised Boris was pretty much channelling Ronnie Barker at the height of his comedic powers.

“I mean, just a few days ago Boris’s complete and utter inability to govern and do the very basics to protect Britons from the deadly COVID-19 was laid bare at an official inquiry that’s still under way in London.

“Then literally hours after leaving the witness box pretty much disgraced, he’s in Sydney giving everyone gratuitous ‘advice’ on how the world should be run. You couldn’t write that sort of comedy if you tried.

“And John Howard is ideal to take on the role previously filled by Ronnie Corbett. He’s short, has a 1970s world view, and very myopic. He also wears glasses. Boom, boom!”

The BBC executive told me he had “auditioned” both Johnson and Howard after the Sydney event before signing them up to an initial six-episode contract.

“I asked Boris to tease Mr Howard by telling him he wanted to buy ‘four candles’,” he explained.

“But Mr Howard responded with: ‘We will decide who comes to this country and the circumstances in which they come.’

“I then schooled up Boris to say: ‘That’s all we’ve got time for, so it’s goodnight from me….’ then to wait for Mr Howard to respond.

“Unfortunately, Mr Howard once again used his ‘We will decide’ line, so he’ll clearly need a bit more rehearsal before we start shooting sketches,” the BBC source said.